Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
