Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
All I want is dick and wine.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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