I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
