that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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