remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
