I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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