i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
