That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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