We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
