those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
