last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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