you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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