so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
