no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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