he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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