He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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