That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
