i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
