maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
