is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
