People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
