i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize