I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I could fuck to npr.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize