Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
