How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
