UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
