What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
