Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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