i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
