i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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