question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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