Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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