if you like me you must not know who I am
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
