Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
