How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
