She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
