WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
