she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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