She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
