We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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