I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Randomize
