if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
my liver is dry heaving
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
