Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
