Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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