almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
