Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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