We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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