those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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