I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize