..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
