I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
