To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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