I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
