it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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