he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
