so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize