He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
