she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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