i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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